I need your help... desperately

Only available for 69.69 hours. Never again.

I never ask for help, but I’m absolutely desperate right now.

This weekend, David Viergutz, Christopher Hopper, and I converged in Austin to develop something unbelievably revolutionary for publishing.

And we are announcing it today.

It’s called OnlyAuthorz.com. Yes, that’s with a Z. You HAVE TO SPELL IT WITH A Z.

I never thought I’d do something like this.

It’s honestly embarrassing.

And it makes me SOOO nervous.

We are launching our flagship OnlyAuthorz product: a calendar. A calendar that will shake up the walls of publishing and tear down everything we know as indie authors. A calendar from the most glorious JC Penny photoshoot known to author kind.

Yes. The OnlyAuthorz Calendar. And because we want to make this calendar radically inclusive, we are encouraging everyone to buy it (not just authors… in fact, we really need everyone to buy this).

Recently, we have had some hard times. Unbelievably challenging.

I never thought I would put myself out like this.

And I NEVER thought I’d have such a HARD time in JC Penny.

My mom is pissed at me.

I feel like a failure.

But it will all make it worth it, if you buy our OnlyAuthorz Calendar, buy one for your parents, your children, your dog, and even your neighbors. Buy it for someone you hate. I don’t care. Just buy it.

I need your help RIGHT NOW.

Because…

This money won’t be going to me. It won’t be going to Christopher. It won’t be going to David. And it won’t even be going to our JC Penny photographer Hunter who pleaded with us to ask his boss for a raise.

Instead, 99.99% of the proceeds will be going to charity and 0.01% will go towards making sure Hunter has lunch next week (he told us he’s neurospicy and forgets to eat before work).

Yes, DEAD SERIOUS, all of this money is going to charity, and we’d love if you supported this calendar and the 3 charities that me, Christopher, and David choose to support (Room to Read, Wounded Warriors, and the Golisano Children’s Hospital).

THESE CALENDARS WILL NEVER BE AVAILABLE AGAIN.

AND THEY ARE ONLY AVAILABLE FOR THE NEXT 69.69 HOURS.

Be a part of publishing history. Join the OnlyAuthorz movement.

And help change the world forever (maybe not forever, but you will be helping contribute to some great causes and make a real great impact).

Go to https://onlyauthorz.com/ to get your OnlyAuthorz Calendar, and please share far and wide, or else.

But seriously, buy this thing, because my next step is OnlyFans. My mom would kick me out if I did that. Right now she thinks I’m a hair model.

P.S. I’ll be sharing the full breakdown of the fundraising next weekend and having a fellow author audit the entire process. Let’s crush this as a community!

P.P.S. We have other products besides calendars that you can purchase, if you are weird and freaky like that.

P.P.P.S. We may or may not make this a recocurring thing, help us keep Hunter’s career (and cat) alive for next year by buying multiple copies of it

P.P.P.P.S Has anybody seen my wallet? I think Chris took it.

P.P.P.P.P.S. These calendars can also be used as blankets, kindling, plates, and incredible sporks.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S If we reach our stretch goal of selling $100k, we will hire an annoying indie author guru of your choice full-time and make sure they never sell courses again.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. My computer is dying as I’m typing this and my hands are really sweaty, but I still have more to share….

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. All of the big pencils used in the photoshoot were donated to a great cause — David’s daughter. Actually, I’m lying, I kept two for myself, but don’t tell her!

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S Course on launching on your own calendar is coming soon!!!

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. We are 100% sober.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. We recognize the first 3 months of this calendar are utterly useless. No discounts. The value is clear.